Our Deepest Fear

This narrative which was used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural Speech, was actually written by Marianne Williamson.


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves; "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Urbanization of Tiruvannamalai Area

What seems to be currently occurring in the rural countryside near Tiruvannamalai, is a gradual replacement of the population. The farmers are selling up, mostly to developers and planners, and their farms are being levelled, surveyed and sold by the square foot as plots to accommodate the growing influx of people wishing to settle at Tiruvannamalai.

There are many organisations and ashrams who have (and will) come into the area who are enhancing the rural ethos of the countryside, but in the main part the future of most of the land is for plot housing.

What is surprising is the eagerness that most farmers have to sell up and move out. From talking with farmers and having information about what’s happening in the area, I would say that the vast majority of farmers wish to sell -- and the only thing delaying them is their wait for the “Right Price”.

I recall somebody telling me that the nature of Grace is that you are only aware of it once it has gone. Is this what will happen to the local farmers? Being born into an idyllic life in the most psychically serene spot on earth – and selling that birthright without a backward glance to relocate with their “pot of gold” in whatever place they choose. Sadly most of the farmers, who have probably lived their lives in a condition of “feast or famine”, and have not had the opportunity over the years to plan their finances, will through inexperience quickly waste their “pot of gold” and end up some years hence with both land and money gone, gone, gone.

Arunachala has everything well in hand and maybe those people moving out have completed their karma with the Hill and are now making way for a “new batch” of souls upon which the Hill can work its magic. Its all in the Great Lord’s hands.

Further to the subject of losing one’s idyllic life and opting for civilization, I have posted below a fascinating, edgy video entitled “Civilization” which definitely stimulates thinking!

Human Influence on Local Monkeys

Below the four photographs is a short extract of a narrative taken from a Report entitled, “Measures of Human Influence in Habitats of South Asian Monkeys” The Report which attempts to define the potential influence of humans on monkey habitats and behaviour in South Asia, is based on four variables: description of the home range, level of harassment of the animals, habituation of the animals to humans, and the presence of predators.

In addition to this particular cited Report, many studies have been undertaken on the consequences of human disturbance upon non-human primates. In the case of Tiruvannamalai District, the most common non-human primates are the Bonnet Macaque and Langur Monkeys. Even though most of the monkeys around the Tiruvannamalai area are accustomed to the proximity of humans; groups within the area differ in their response to people based on past experience and learned behavior within the group.

Socialised Bonnet Macaque at
Ramana Ashram

Bonnet Macaque living off the
Girivalam Roadway

Langur Monkeys at
Pavala Kundru Temple

Extract from Report:

"Briefly the monkeys’ response to humans falls into four basic categories:

(1) Wild. The monkeys flee and hide when humans appear. Such an extreme reaction would be expected in areas where humans are encountered infrequently but would also include the rare cases where monkeys have been hunted. Habituation of such animals is extremely difficult.

(2) Semi habituated. The monkeys move away when humans actually approach, but are accustomed to occasionally disinterested human traffic through their habitat (as in the case of woodcutters).

(3) Habituated. The monkeys are accustomed to human presence, although they usually do not tolerate people coming too close to them unless food is thrown.

(4) Habituated and Routinely Commensal. The monkeys do not move away at benign human approach and are able to mingle with humans with minimal caution. They typically live on human refuse and provisioning."

To read the full report in PDF format, please click the following link:
Measures of Human Influence in Habitats of South Asian Monkeys

A Different Take on the Same Thing

Story One:
The Samurai and the Zen Master

A samurai, a very proud warrior, came to see a Zen Master one day. The samurai was very famous, but looking at the beauty of the Master and the Grace of the moment, he suddenly felt inferior. He said to the Master, "Why am I feeling inferior? Just a moment ago everything was okay. As I entered your court suddenly I felt inferior. I have never felt like that before. I have faced death many times, and I have never felt any fear -- why am I now feeling frightened?" The Master said, "Wait. When everyone else has gone, I will answer." People continued the whole day to come and see the Master, and the samurai was getting more and more tired waiting.

By evening the room was empty, and the samurai said, "Now, can you answer me?" The Master said, "Come outside." It was a full moon night, the moon was just rising on the horizon. And he said, "Look at these trees. This tree is high in the sky and this small one beside it. They both have existed beside my window for years, and there has never been any problem. The smaller tree has never said to the big tree, 'Why do I feel inferior before you?' This tree is small, and that tree is big -- why have I never heard a whisper of it?" The samurai said, "Because they can't compare." The Master replied, "Then you need not ask me. You know the answer."

[Author Unknown]

Story Two:
Good, Bad or Lucky

“To me, selfishness seems to come out of an instinct for self-preservation, which is our deepest and first instinct. How can we opt for selflessness? It would be almost like opting for non-being. To me, it would seem to be the same thing as non-being. Whatever it is, I’m saying: Stop feeling bad about being selfish; we’re all the same.

Someone once had a terribly beautiful thing to say about Jesus. This person wasn’t even Christian. He said, “The lovely thing about Jesus was that he was so at home with sinners, because he understood that he wasn’t one bit better than they were.” We differ from others—from criminals, for example—only in what we do or don’t do, not in what we are. The only difference between Jesus and those others was that he was awake and they weren’t. Look at people who win the lottery. Do they say, “I’m so proud to accept this prize, not for myself, but for my nation and my society.” Does anybody talk like that when they win the lottery? No. Because they were lucky, lucky. So they won the lottery, first prize. Anything to be proud of in that?

In the same way, if you achieved enlightenment, you would do so in the interest of self and you would be lucky. Do you want to glory in that? What’s there to glory about? Can’t you see how utterly stupid it is to be vain about your good deeds? The Pharisee wasn’t an evil man, he was a stupid man. He was stupid, not evil. He didn’t stop to think. Someone once said, “I dare not stop to think, because if I did, I wouldn’t know how to get started again.”
[Anthony De Mello]

Arunachala’s True Shape

“From every angle Arunachala presents a different aspect. But the Sivalinga, representing the Hill, symbolises its true shape, that of the formless including all forms.

I approach Arunachala generally by bus from the east as I come to Tiruvannamalai from Madras. Arunachala becomes visible from about ten miles away. At first it is only a vague cloudlike shape but as I come nearer it becomes clearer. It assumes the form of an irregular cone somewhat longish at the base with a curved spur on its northern side. This shape lasts only until I come to the temple of Arunachaleswara. It changes gradually when I proceed to the Ashram and finally when I reach the Ashram it assumes a familiar beautiful shape. It reminds me of Mount Kailas as it looks in the familiar photographs of that sacred mountain. Others have also noticed this resemblance.

I have seen Arunachala not only from these two angles but also from numerous other angles too. While going round the Hill on the holy circuit it looks different from each spot. Names like the ‘five-faced Arunachala’ and the ‘four-faced Arunachala’ have been given to those aspects in which it appears to possess five peaks or four peaks. When one comes to the northern side the appearance changes completely. It becomes more rugged and massive. Arunachala has many faces and many shapes. From every angle it presents a different aspect, reminding us of the ever changing flux of creation, the motionless dance of Arunachala-Siva whose unity penetrates all diversity!

Photograph from around 1950

Some devotees of Siva believe that Arunachala, the Hill, is Siva himself or a huge Siva linga in the form of the Hill. The puranas elaborate this. That is why one walks round it barefoot reverently all the eight miles of the way. Siva linga is simply an emblem of Siva, in its manifest form as the Hill and the linga of fire without beginning or end, as mentioned in the well known story of its first appearance, symbolises its unmanifest transcendence. Thus Siva is rupa (with form) and arupa (without form). He has many forms and at the same time can reveal himself as formless:

“When I approach regarding Thee as having form, Thou standest as a Hill on earth. If (with the mind) the seeker looks for Thy (essential) form as formless, he is like one who travels the earth to see the (ever-present) ether. To dwell without thought upon Thy (boundless) nature is to lose one’s (separate) identity like a doll of sugar when it comes in contact with the ocean (of nectar) and when I come to realize who I am, what else is this identity of mine (but Thee), O Thou Who standest as the towering Aruna Hill?”

[By Aquarius]

Walking on Samudram Erie

Its around midday and I'm looking out of my window watching rain pour down outside. The last few weeks have been really wet but the day started pleasantly, and my six doggies and I took the opportunity to have an early morning walk on the Samudram Erie. Currently there is little water on the Erie, which still resembles a large puddle more than the 750 acre lake which it usually grows to by the end of the rainy season.

Still plenty of time for it to fill nicely as the Samudram is a catchment reservoir for water which pours off the Hill during the rains and runs through channels to the Lake.

Samudram is currently just a big puddle

Arunachala Samudram before rainy season

Arunachala Samudram after rainy season

Arunachala Retreat March 2010

Below is information from Padma and Torsten about their upcoming Arunachala Retreat to be held March 2010. The venue for the Retreat is Sri Nannagaru Ashram and below is a photograph of a previous year's Retreat taken on the roof of that Ashram. Language is not an impediment as most members of the group are multi-lingual.

I have included a link below to Padma and Torsten's website, at which place you can find information about their March 2010, Arunachala Retreat Programme:-


'From February 27th till March 14th 2010 Torsten and Padma will hold a retreat at Sri Nannagaru Ashram. They offer self-inquiry in the tradition of Sri Ramana Maharshi and in the lineage of Sri Poonjaji, Gangaji and Eli Jaxon-Bear. The focus of this retreat will be to make Sri Ramana Maharshi’s profound self-inquiry and the silent power of Arunachala accessible to participants. The group will visit different abodes of Sri Ramana Maharshi on the mountain for silent meditation. Besides Torsten and Padma offer daily Satsang-meetings on the roof-terrace of Sri Nannagaru Ashram.

In their dialogues with participants they support spiritual seekers through traditional as well as modern approaches of self-inquiry to awaken to the inner freedom of our true nature and ground ourselves in that. To that end they also make their experience in Enneagram-work, Buddhist meditation, transpersonal psychology and other approaches available. The main transmission, however, consists in the message of Sri Ramana Maharshi: We already are the formless, silent Awareness before, during and after all transient appearances. When we rediscover that, our limited sense of I dissolves and the natural bliss of our true nature shines forth.

A previous year Retreat on roof of
Sri Nannagaru Ashram

In Torsten’s and Padma’s transmission, special emphasis is given to the direct experience of whatever may arise. In that they point to the fact that especially in directly experiencing uncomfortable emotions like anger, fear or despair there is a potential for an ever deepening awakening: When we don’t deny these experiences, nor react to them with old beliefs and strategies, true and consistent peace reveals itself to us.

Padma and Torsten

Here are some reports from participants of earlier Arunachala-Retreats with Torsten and Padma:

Andreas: “Just sitting at the roof top of the Ashram, looking at the Arunachala day or night is such a grace. In addition it was such a gift to be in a group with Padma and Torsten. The Sri Nannagaru Ashram is a perfect place for a Retreat as it is located a bit aside but just a short walk or rickshaw-drive to Ramana Maharshi Ashram.“

Volker: “This whole journey with Torsten and Padma has been a great gift for me and I am very grateful. These special places and all these possibilities that they have experienced and selected beforehand – and this ground of Satsang carrying through this whole journey and group – wonderful! The best way to get to know India. To experience this country and these people in this way has touched me very much. Thank you – thank you – thank you – also for this intensive inner journey. I am very happy with it.”

Inge: “Today a sentence kept arising in me: “the work is done“. Heaven and earth have slowly grown towards each other during the decades of this life. They have touched in India, especially felt in the transition from transcendence in silent sitting to activity. As there was no more transition, no here or there, no line of separation, no farewell or hello. A subtle yet so powerful experience.”'

More information about the upcoming retreat at this link here.